Just found out I’m working a full day Christmas Eve and the day after Christmas. PGP.

Please kill me if I ever become the person in the office who wears the blinking Christmas lights necklace. PGP.

Having the attitude, but not the energy to be the office prankster. PGP.

Hearing songs from your childhood on a classic rock station. PGP.

Winning the company wine draw being the most productive thing you do all year. PGP.

My inbox is full, but my life is empty. PGP.

Knowing you’re being catfished on Tinder and still playing along with it. PGP.

Sympathizing with customer service reps. PGP.

Clothes have been in the dryer since Saturday. PGP.

Our CEO just followed me on Twitter. PGP.

I had three Christmas cookies for breakfast today. PGP.

“Let’s try to work on that.” PGP.

Google is the only one outside of those with familial obligations that wished me a happy birthday. PGP.

What can we do to help with that? PGP.

My cubical mate thinks that speaker phone is the only way to use the phone. PGP.

My parents got me a $100 gift card to the local grocery store and I’ve never been more grateful in my life. PGP.

It was a tough decision, but I am now moving my official bed time from 11 to 10. PGP.

Spending money like Kevin McCallister. Making money like Uncle Frank. PGP.

I’m still single while the Steve in my office is dating the hot intern. PGP.

Being excited about getting a Roomba for Christmas. PGP.