Being surprised when you’re not hungover. PGP.

When people in the office go “out” to lunch, they get a dollar menu item from a fast food joint. PGP.

Considering moving to the suburbs so you have an excuse to not go out drinking and go to sleep early on the weekends. PGP.

My girlfriend gives me a four-hour drinking limit each time I go out. PGP.

It’s my first day off in months. I’m taking the GRE. PGP.

I don’t poop at home so I have something to do at the office. PGP.

I’d make 15% more if I had a better fake laugh. PGP.

Getting dirty looks from people when you tell them you actually like your job. PGP.

Strained my hamstring trying to block a bounce shot in beer pong. PGP.

Watching 60 Minutes. PGP.

“About to go to bed, text me tomorrow and we can catch up!” PGP.

We got new coffee. They have somehow found coffee that is even worse than our old stuff. PGP.