Keeping your headset on so your office mate wont strike up random, pointless conversation. PGP.
Making a cup of coffee you won’t drink just so you can talk to the hot girl in the break room. PGP.
Scrolling up and down a spreadsheet when a coworker walks by just to look like you’re engaged in your work. PGP.
I do not give a flying f**k what the fox says. PGP.
Attempting to guess which person is breathing way too heavily on a conference call. PGP.
Every single napkin in my apartment was stolen from Subway. PGP.
Only getting haircuts when Great Clips has their $6.99 special. PGP.
The elevator music pre-conference call triggers an ape-like rage within me every single time. PGP.
Splash-back from a high-powered sink making it look like you pissed yourself a little. PGP.
That awkward struggle when someone on the other side of a wooden door gets there at the same time as you do. PGP.
That feeling of helplessness when your favorite bathroom stall is taken. PGP.
Externally appearing calm and professional, but internally thinking “please don’t let me shit myself” during an important meeting. PGP.