Considering quitting with no back up plan or job lined up. PGP.

Seeing something NSFW online and immediately going to your phone to look at it. PGP.

Someone broke into my car last night and took literally none of my possessions. PGP.

Freshmen in high school were born in 2000. PGP.

Sending out the desperate “Anything going on tonight?” mass text. PGP.

Moved to the South to escape brutal, Northern winters. Woke up to a high of 21 today. PGP.

Using the fear of Ebola as an excuse for not going to the gym. PGP.

My girlfriend gained too much weight this year to pull off a slutty Halloween costume. PGP.

I moved to Omaha today. PGP.

I signed an offer letter on Friday, then was invited to interview with a Fortune 500 company on Monday. I have no idea what to do. PGP.

Passive aggressively CC’ing someone’s manager on an email. PGP.

This year, my stock portfolio gained the equivalent of 20 minutes of parking downtown. PGP.

The closest thing I have to a lifelong relationship is my relationship with Sallie Mae. PGP.

Just gave my two weeks during my annual performance review. DOBBY IS A FREE ELF. PGP.

One roommate is a car salesman and the other is a server. Both make more than I do, and I have an engineering degree. PGP.

So much access to bank accounts and social security numbers. All I need is a little push from the right person. PGP.

Going from living in a house filled with 30 of your best friends to a one bedroom apartment alone. PGP.

My coworkers put a fart machine in my office and then sent the hot intern in to see me for April Fools’ Day. PGP.

Too busy for a boyfriend. Too poor for a pet. PGP.

Getting volun-told to clean out the break room fridge. PGP.