Spending the rest of your day after lunch attempting to orchestrate a fantasy football trade. PGP.

Staying up way past your bed time just to watch your team lose. Again. PGP.

Today, I received a stern talking-to. PGP.

My best friend just bought a house. I just bought a Cheesy Gordita Crunch with change. PGP.

My parents still ask about my high school girlfriend who is married. PGP.

The only “Gold Card” I can afford is for Starbucks. PGP.

Coming in on the weekends so you can “play catch up.” PGP.

I go through no less than five fantasy scenarios about my office burning down during my lunch break. PGP.

They forgot to up-charge me for guac today. I feel like I just won the lottery. PGP.

FF trades prompting collusion disputes. PGP.

Going on a “day date” at the zoo instead of tailgating. PGP.

Four of the twelve top sites on my browser are pizza places. PGP.