Waking up in a panic on Saturday morning because you think you’re late for work. PGP.
Being pathetically happy when you buy a new shirt or tie. PGP.
That sense of complete despair for an entire week after your NFL or favorite college football team loses. PGP.
The subtle but necessary man-grunt to inform newcomers that the bathroom stall is occupied. PGP.
Awkwardly silent elevator rides with coworkers. PGP.
“No, Mom. I haven’t met anyone since I talked to you yesterday.” PGP.
Picking too many toppings at the build your own froyo place, and ending up with $12 worth of ice cream that you just let melt. PGP.
My parents probably have sex more often than I do. PGP.
My wife gave me the “yeah right” laugh after I told her I want a PS4 for Christmas. PGP.
Some days, I just wanna burn this mother to the ground. PGP.
When the phrase “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” becomes your personal motto. PGP.
There were more people at my boss’s son’s birthday party than mine. I know this because I had to be at both. PGP.