Got an offer to spend NYE at Olive Garden. Seriously considering it. PGP.

Computer broke at work and I did absolutely nothing productive all day. I’ve never been more happy. God bless us, every one. PGP.

Wednesday, you son of a bitch. PGP.

“You think if I fake my death I can get out of paying back my loans?” PGP.

The people who say “see you next year” today, when they know you will see them tomorrow. PGP.

Getting your over the counter meds from the first aid cabinet at the office. PGP.

Got my NYE party invitation. It’s in my company’s warehouse. It’s not a party. It’s inventory and it goes on until 10 p.m. Happy fucking New Year. PGP.

My New Year’s resolution is the same as it was sophomore year in college: To stop pissing myself while blacked out. PGP.

My resolutions for 2014 have become my resolutions for 2015. PGP.

I’ve already lost half of the socks I got on Christmas. PGP.

My coworker is ten times more annoying now since his heart attack. PGP.

My favorite gift this year was the Sonicare my mom got me. PGP.

My Mom and my boyfriend are the only people that email me at work. PGP.

Pregamed my hometown bars at Applebee’s. PGP.

Hitting a month-end goal and still being behind everyone else on the team. PGP.

Ending every mean email with exclamation marks and a smiley face. PGPM.

There’s someone in this city that wants to have sex with me, right? RIGHT?! PGP.

Kyle Orton just retired at half the age I hope to retire. PGP.

Using the rent money for New Year’s Eve. PGP.

Thought I could get away with wearing jeans into our near-empty office today. Still got called into HR. PGP.