My source of excitement for Halloween is knowing that candy will be 75% off tomorrow. PGP.

Girls going from “sexy” to “comfy” Halloween costumes. PGP.

Still playing Flappy Bird. PGP.

We hired two “quality control officers” to monitor office productivity. My office literally just brought in “The Bobs.” PGP.

Getting a rejection letter four minutes after applying for a job. PGP.

My manager has started using emojis in her emails. PGP.

I shouldn’t have stayed out until 10 on a work night. PGP.

Getting new tires on my car means not eating out for a month. PGP.

The only time my presence at work was acknowledged was by the automatic flusher on the urinal, and even it ignored me a couple times today. PGP.

“Dress socks” with Nike swooshes on them on laundry day. PGP.

Mandatory office costume parties. PGP.

Trying to figure out a Halloween costume is giving me anxiety. PGP.