“Can I borrow your stapler?” PGP.

Haven’t seen the sun in nine days. PGP.

Going the extra mile…to the warmer, smaller bathrooms on the executive side of the office. PGP.

This year, my stock portfolio gained the equivalent of 20 minutes of parking downtown. PGP.

My parents canceled their cable. Goodbye, HBO Go. PGP.

Waiting for your boss’s boss to leave so your boss will leave so you can leave. PGP.

My boss shouts “Caught you napping!” nearly every time he walks up behind me. PGP.

I’ll get a bed frame one of these days. PGP.

Work, Netflix, sleep. PGP.

Can I overdose on Advil? PGP.

Mark Cuban is my spirit animal. PGP.

Asking Santa for a better job. PGP.