My paycheck feels like a participation award. PGP.

Not only have my friends been getting married, but now some of them are getting divorced. PGP.

Walking briskly through the office to create an illusion of being busy. PGP

Bought 20 shares of Powerball today. PGP.

Of all the things that usually crush my soul on a Wednesday, I never expected one of them to be Netflix. PGP.

I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t at least a little tired. PGP

I don’t recognize half the last names on my newsfeed. PGP

Forgot my headphones today. PGP.

Coworker was telling me about his ex-wife. I don’t even have a girlfriend. PGP.

Had to turn down a higher paying job today because I just started this one three weeks ago. #PGP.

“Other duties as assigned” being the only accurate part of your job description. PGP.

Took the scenic route to FedEx just to stay out the office longer. PGP.