The last two girls I have been with have gotten engaged to the guy after me. PGP.

Just got a text from the office manager saying we are opening the office late due to the snow. I was already here. PGP.

I feel hungover every morning. I drink heavily about twice a week. PGP

I officially have life insurance. PGP

Forget the freshman fifteen, the cubicle fifteen is real. PGP.

When buying new jeans is easier than losing the weight. PGP

The amount of estrogen envy in the office every time flowers are delivered #PGP

My boss just bought a car that’s worth more than twice my salary. PGP.

Taking Gas-X pills is like putting a band-aid on a bullet wound for me. PGP.

Canceled lunch plans with friends so I could nap instead. PGP.

Still waiting on that Christmas bonus. PGP.

Every week is like finals week. PGP.