I can relate to only 15% of the pop culture references my boss makes. PGP.

You make a drunken scene at one family wedding, and no one lets you live it down. PGP

I don’t piss excellence in the morning. I piss dark roast. PGP

“Who do I need to notify that the office toilet won’t flush?” PGP

“You look like you could use a vacation”

Knowing your the first in line of “non-essentials” to go when things turn bad.

Amazon has Dockers 35% off this week. PGP.

“I’m still trying to play catch-up from being out of the office last week.” PGP

The daily battle of trash bin placement in my cubicle with the janitor.

Everyone in my office assumes they’re invited to my wedding. PGP

I still have “Relevant Courses” listed on my resume. PGP.

Sometimes I feel unprofessional for being a freelancer who works from home..But then I just roll over and take a 2:00 pm nap.