Going to the 6pm showing of Jurassic Park so I can be in bed by 9.

I’ve been put in charge of Salesforce because I’m “young and better with technology” despite only using it a handful of times.

Heard a catchy new tune on the way to work. Justin Bieber.

I’ve been at work for an hour, and the only work related thing I’ve done is start the coffee.

Forgot my phone when I went to the bathroom. Just a man and his thoughts. PGP.

People going crazy over the Fed rate hike and I’m over here like what the fuck am I going to ear for dinner?

My bosses daughter added me on Facebook

Doing all of the work. Getting none of the credit. PGP.

Verbally nuking an intern for making a mistake you would have made yourself a month ago. PGPowerMove

Planning your entire weekend from your desk. Spending your entire weekend preparing for work.

Full time hours, part time benefits. PGP

The elevator stopping on the 2nd floor every. single. morning. PGP.