Getting emails from your boss that has all the information stuffed in the subject line and the only thing in the body is “Thanks.”

Fell asleep in the first quarter. PGP.

My trunk started leaking, and the heater in my wife’s car went out all in the same week. PGP.

Kinda wishing all weekday sporting events are blowouts so you can turn it off and go to bed. PGP.

We’re hiring new people and I just heard my boss say we need to “make room” for them. PGP

The southern California sales rep sends emails with the signature “InSane Diego”.

Got below perfect rating on my yearly review for attendance. I have literally taken 0 days off. PGP

“Please resend the documents in Microsoft Word version…” PGP.

Being 25 with high blood pressure. PGP.

Waking up to Venmo charges. PGP.

Every morning my first thought is “Wow I can’t wait to go to sleep tonight.” PGP

“Hey, you see what the powerball’s at now!?”