I’m blaming DST for all of my screw-ups this week. PGP.

Manager gave me tickets to the NCAA tournament and a half day off for “networking purposes.” PGPM

Afraid to update my LinkedIn profile because it might tip off my employer I’m looking elsewhere. PGP

Owing money to the government. PGP.

I’m going to get a haircut today and update my LinkedIn photo. PGP.

Exactly an hour late today

My mom figured out how to @me on Instagram.

Can I unsubscribe from this email chain?

Half of my tax return is paying to fix the bumper of a CEO’s car I scraped in the building parking garage last weekend. PGP.

Having your Outlook open at 8am on a Sunday while hungover. PGP.

Had to wait until work to poop because I didn’t have any toilet paper at the apartment.

People keep telling me to have a good weekend. I work in tax and accounting.