most of the time if a member of the fairer gender uses the phrase “I can’t even” a few too many times, I simply decide that “I can’t even” talk to them anymore.
Number one is literally the bane of my existence. I’m 6’4″ as well and I feel like I get left out of most conversations because I basically have to kneel in order to hear anyone speak at most bars. It’s rough out there for us towers.
You can find other short shorts out there if you know where to look. LL Bean has great 7 inch inseam chino shorts, not to mention the classic Patagonia Stand-Up Shorts (my personal favorite). You can even find 5 inch inseam polo shorts if you know where to look. Chubbies were cool at first but I feel like they’re trying way too hard these days. I feel like past college you should probably go for a more grown up look than neon short shorts that have an elastic waistband.
If I had a preference of any alcohol it would probably be scotch neat but I rarely drink it outside of my house or a buddy’s place. If you’re at a bar drink something that you can sip on and keep pace with everyone else there.
Most of the good looking people from my high school look much, much worse now. High school may have not been the most enjoyable time of my life but at least it wasn’t my peak.
The last one hits close to home for me. It’s like those ungrateful little bastards don’t appreciate anything you taught them, all of the things you did for them before you left. Why aren’t there parades in my honor being organized when I go back to visit, damnit?
Here’s the difference between the two: PGP actually explains the points with logical, thought out anecdotes and arguments, and buzzfeed gives you bullets and a sentence or two for each and still manages to command a devoted following. I’ll never understand it.
Advertise
If they brought back Goosebumps I would probably get fired from my job because I would just simply stop going.
Fight Club?
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off?
Call me pragmatic but I’d much rather be an asshole in a power suit than working at Starbucks.
most of the time if a member of the fairer gender uses the phrase “I can’t even” a few too many times, I simply decide that “I can’t even” talk to them anymore.
okay, Maverick.
Pipe and a crepe?
Blink-182? Anybody? Bueller?
Number one is literally the bane of my existence. I’m 6’4″ as well and I feel like I get left out of most conversations because I basically have to kneel in order to hear anyone speak at most bars. It’s rough out there for us towers.
You can find other short shorts out there if you know where to look. LL Bean has great 7 inch inseam chino shorts, not to mention the classic Patagonia Stand-Up Shorts (my personal favorite). You can even find 5 inch inseam polo shorts if you know where to look. Chubbies were cool at first but I feel like they’re trying way too hard these days. I feel like past college you should probably go for a more grown up look than neon short shorts that have an elastic waistband.
If I had a preference of any alcohol it would probably be scotch neat but I rarely drink it outside of my house or a buddy’s place. If you’re at a bar drink something that you can sip on and keep pace with everyone else there.
Dear God this was awesome. Thank you for making my Friday infinitely better.
Most of the good looking people from my high school look much, much worse now. High school may have not been the most enjoyable time of my life but at least it wasn’t my peak.
Nice try, thephilberg.
The last one hits close to home for me. It’s like those ungrateful little bastards don’t appreciate anything you taught them, all of the things you did for them before you left. Why aren’t there parades in my honor being organized when I go back to visit, damnit?
Holy crap I just realized that Malory Archer and Lucille Bluth are the same person. Mind. Blown.
Having lived in both, I can tell you definitively that Texas is better.
Your columns are always solid, Rage. I’m glad you made the jump from TFM. Good stuff.
I’ll allow it
Preferring In-N-Out to Whataburger is a worse characteristic than a dead fish handshake, in my opinion.
Here’s the difference between the two: PGP actually explains the points with logical, thought out anecdotes and arguments, and buzzfeed gives you bullets and a sentence or two for each and still manages to command a devoted following. I’ll never understand it.