I just Googled, “How to sleep with your eyes open.” PGP.

Drinking games now means seeing if I can finish a drink without feeling sleepy. PGP.

College drama doesn’t have shit on office politics. PGP.

Realizing that by “stay in school” they meant “don’t ever leave.” PGP.

In yesterday’s mail I received: a mortgage statement, a bill from my dermatologist, and a wedding invitation. So, all bills. PGP.

Had a dream I was back in college. Quickly turned into a nightmare when I was called into HR. PGP.

What the fuck is ergonomics? PGP.

How the fuck did I graduate? PGP.

“Don’t mess with me, man. I’m a lawyer!” -Peter Banning. PGP.

Helping train someone who makes more money than you. PGP.