Button just popped off my pants. I’m giving a presentation in 20 minutes. My belt hides it, but I don’t know what will hide my shame. PGP.

My Halloween news feed went from a bunch of girls in slutty costumes to a bunch of babies in costumes. PGP.

Jake from State Farm working until three in the morning, PGP.

Being jealous of the potential Ebola patients who are quarantined at home for 21 days. PGP.

I’m really going to start taking things seriously next week. PGP.

I was two hours late to work today, and nobody noticed. I’m not sure if I feel relieved or nervous. PGP.

ALL CAPS IS INDUSTRY STANDARD. i FORGET TO TURN IT OFF OCCASIONALLY AND EVERYONE THINKS I’M YELLING ON FACEBOOK. PGP.

There was a fight today in the office. I was at lunch. PGP.

Checked in for my flight exactly 24 hours before it boarded. Boarding position B 54. PGP.