Getting stuck in the elevator for a few hours wouldn’t be such a bad thing. PGP.

At first I was optimistic. I soon became realistic, then indifferent, then apathetic. I’m beyond that now. There may be a word for it but I don’t care enough to look it up. PGP.

Mauling down your little cousins at the Easter egg hunt once you learn one contains a $100 bill. PGP.

Thinking of using the staple gun on your hand just so you can feel something..anything. PGP.

Someone turned off the light when I was still in the bathroom, and I didn’t say anything just so I could have some time alone. PGP.

Leaving your voicemail full so you don’t have to call people back. PGP.

Leaving the last bit of your lunch unfinished and in front of you so when coworkers come over to talk they think they’re interrupting. PGP.

“Hope you’re doing well!” means “I don’t know how to begin an email.” PGP.

There’s a guy having an incredibly audible conversation with his wife in a bathroom stall while the guy in the stall next to him is just destroying the toilet. PGP.