Putting in my two weeks soon. Can’t stop fantasizing about never seeing these people again. PGP.

If I had $1 for every time I heard the phrase “touch base” in the office, I could afford to add avocado to everything. PGP.

Mid-meeting I got asked why I was there. PGP.

Not sure if my boss is unaware of his use of double entendre or if he’s just a perv. PGP.

There’s a fire two floors below my office right now. Building management said to stay in our offices. PGP.

Taking a phone call from a recruiter during a staff meeting. PGPowerMove.

Being so busy at work and not getting a chance to get on Tinder. PGP.

When your insurance agent calls to wish you a happy birthday before your mom before your mom does. PGP.

Not wanting to be known as “The Guy Who Does Nothing,” but not wanting to actually do anything. PGP.

Family knows I hate my job and asked “Why don’t you just go for a walk on your lunch break and see who’s hiring around the city?” PGP.