Coworker stealing your 20 minutes of morning free time to explain the history of your company’s software. PGP.

Discovering “the new laptop we have for you is being updated the rest of week” is code for “we forgot about you on your first week and need to buy one.” PGP.

Listening to my coworker talk about her newborn kid and having to feign interest in her stories about it rolling over. PGP.

A guy ran into my car while I was listening to Touching Base on my way in, and I missed all the donuts at work. PGP.

Getting text messages from my boss before I get to work in the morning. PGP.

Back-to-back weekend weddings where the bride and groom are younger than you. PGP.

Really thought I would’ve grown out of shopping the “Clearance” section of the website by now. PGP.

Looking forward to the haircut I’m going to get on Saturday. PGP.

Legitimately getting a kick out of responding with “Not bad for a Monday” when asked how your day is going on a Tuesday. PGP.

Too lazy to go out to the bar. Fixed myself up a couple dirty gin martinis and put on some ’70s soft rock instead. PGP.