Tinder matches more interested in seeing me than friends and fraternity bros from college. PGP.

Opened a new Chrome tab while hooked up to the projector. All the new hires saw my most visited website was my gambling site. PGP.

I want to get a German Shepherd but they’re too smart and I know it would end up just calling me on my shit. PGP.

“This is just a stepping stone.” PGP.

Michelob taste on a Busch budget. PGP.

Wore a white long sleeve shirt and fleece vest to work and now my coworker won’t stop calling me Han Solo and asking me why I shot first. PGP.

I’m getting dangerously comfortable with telling people no on the basis that I can’t afford it. PGP.

My mom gets more likes on Instagram than me. PGP.

It’s getting harder and harder to hide how much everyone annoys me. PGP.

My new job starts in a week in a new city. I haven’t even started packing yet. PGP.