Taking Tums while at the bar.

Going full Rust Cohle trying to track down whoever stole my snack from the office fridge

Returning from a week of vacation and realizing no one noticed you were gone.

“Sort by price: low – high”

Staring out the window like a sad puppy who does not get walked enough. PGP

Already stressing about the imminent hangover 48 hours before I start drinking.

Getting annoyed at your coworkers because they ask you to do your job. #PGP

I would still rather be a Pokémon Master than whatever it is I’m doing with my life.