1: “Hey, happy birthday, man.” 2: “Please don’t tell anyone.”

BACK SEAT, WINDOWS UP…is how I arrive at work in my carpool. PGP.

Conference calls: where stupid questions are born, respect for coworkers is lost, and justification for happy hour is found. PGP.

Shamelessly taking any and all handouts offered to you while visiting family back home. PGP.

The server at Chipotle added me on LinkedIn. PGP.

My boss’s coffee is as black as her soul. PGP.

Coworkers openly tweeting about looking for a new job. PGP.

I give up. PGP.