Boss fired someone three weeks ago. I’ve now been doing two people’s jobs for three weeks. PGP.

My hair smelling like coconuts right now is the closest thing I’m getting to a vacation for a long time. PGP.

“My pain is constant and sharp and I do not hope for a better world for anyone.” -Patrick Bateman. PGP.

Called into my manager’s office, thought I was getting fired. Turns out they signed me up to take a trip to visit corporate in Germany. Now I’m terrified of getting fired abroad. PGP.

My credit card was declined on a first date. PGP.

Pretty sure I will still know every word to “Men in Black” when I’m 70. PGP.

Working on Columbus Day. PGP.

Had to use Coinstar to afford two six-packs for the weekend. PGP.

Hawaiian shirt day at the office. Not even Steve can ruin this for me today. PGP.

At this point, I could consider myself a born again virgin. PGP.