Coworker just asked me if I ever drink so much that I feel sick the next morning. I’m hungover right now. PGP.

Spent all weekend locked in a single vehicle with five of my in-laws driving 8 hours to my parents’ house and back. I was actually looking forward to work. PGP.

The woman next to me brought fucking spaghettios and is eating them at 8 a.m. I’m going to throw up. PGP.

I just taped an open bag of Goldfish to my desk to make snacking easier. Unsure whether it’s innovative or just kinda sad. PGP.

Girlfriend puked in an Uber this weekend, considering taking $300 out of a mutual fund that I parked away cash for her engagement ring. PGP.

Taking a PTO day with plans to get hammered the night before because, “It’s been a while.” PGP.

Jealous of Obama because he gets to quit his job today. PGP.

Having to retake grades K-12 to prove to my dad I’m ready to take over the family hotel chain. PGP.

While looking for a shirt to wear to work, I realized no one will notice me anyway. PGP.

I didn’t get anything in the office Secret Santa exchange, and I don’t know who to be pissed at. PGP.