Submitting the same rejected PGP wall post three times because you know most sales occur on the third call. PGP.

Not knowing where you stand. With anyone. PGP.

Your car was brand new when you were in the third grade. PGP.

The thought that one day I may be responsible for raising children is an absolute fucking joke. PGP.

There’s nothing like pouring off-brand syrup on off-brand Eggo waffles to remind you that your college degree was abso-fucking-lutely worth it. PGP.

I bought season tickets for the minor league hockey team in town because I thought it’d be a great way to treat friends and clients. I went to 15 games alone. PGP.

My parents unknowingly crushed me by canceling their HBO subscription. PGP.

My expensive tastes greatly outweigh my paycheck. PGP.

My boss followed me into the bathroom this morning, then stood outside the stall door and tried to have a conversation with me. PGP.