My birthday treat was adding guac to my burrito that I’m eating alone at my desk. PGP.

Urologist appointments. PGP.

The overly aggressive automatic flusher just sprayed shit all over my clothes. PGP.

Just opened Instagram and instinctively started swiping right. PGP.

When the highlight of your week is getting on the PGP wall. PGP.

Our office blocked ESPN for the rest of the World Cup. PGP.

I shit more in one day than I did a week in college. PGP.

The next 5 to 10 generations of LeBron James’ relatives already have more money than I ever will. PGP.

Not having hamburger, so just eating the helper. PGP.

The switch from Market Pantry to Archer Farms on pay day. PGP.