The cellphone belt clip is the new pocket protector. PGP

Massive spreadsheets that no one will ever read. PGP

Officially hit the age where girls turn down free drinks from me. PGP.

Just got promoted and relocated to a new office. 400 miles away. PGP

“I figured this would have been done by now”. PGP.

A bird pooped on my head this morning, so that was a nice start to my day. PGP

I really should just quit.

Watching my coworkers pathetically suck up the CEO

Turbo Tax being a condescending asshole by asking me “Did you buy a house this year?” PGP.

Signing out of your LinkedIn profile so other people don’t see when you visit their profile. PGP.