Immediately going into “saving for a wedding” mode upon receiving a “What is your address?” text. PGP.

Dreading returning your rental car because it’s that much nicer than your own. PGP.

I quoted “Varsity Blues” in a meeting. No one had any idea what the fuck I was talking about. PGP.

Getting rejected by the charming but hideous IT guy. PGP.

Netflix reminding me every couple of hours how lazy I am by asking if I’m really still watching. PGP.

Negative net worth. PGP.

Being the guy who brought the dish no one eats at a work potluck. PGP.

I have a constant day dream of watching “The Big Lebowski” in my bathtub while eating a large pizza. PGP.

Was just endorsed on LinkedIn for customer satisfaction by the girl I’ve been hooking up with. PGP.