Jeff Sessions submitting his resignation at his boss’s “request.”

Accidentally pressed Speak instead of Paste in Bumble during a conference call. Everyone heard my cheesy pickup line. Now it’s how all my coworkers begin conversations with me.

Using a box of tissues as a napkin dispenser when eating at my desk.

When not even the motion sensor lights in the restroom can recognize your presence.

My company just implemented a new system to crack down on all non-work related web browsing.

The “try as best you can to be productive today” team email the day before Memorial Day Weekend.

Coworker forgot to press mute on a conference call and the entire company heard her say, “Fuck this shit.”

Having a job is cool because you get paid to be hungover.

Trying to figure out how to hide my job interview clothes from my boss.

Started my “summer diet” today and realized I have no plans to go to the beach this year.