Turn down for heartburn. PGP.

I purposely mess up my travel receipt envelopes just so the cute girl in accounting will email me. PGP.

Giving up on an entire week because your mouse ran out of batteries. PGP.

“I keep forgetting it’s not Monday!” -Everyone. PGP.

Getting argumentative in internet comment sections because how else are you meant to pass the time? PGP.

The coworker who reads the news to the office every morning. PGP.

Manager in email: “Team, please send me your projected PTO [paid time off] dates for the period of 1 June through 26 Sep 2014 by COB today.” PGP.

Frantically trying to remember whose card you’re signing, even though it won’t change the generic message of “Good luck.” PGP.

Frantically turning the volume down when what you thought was just an ESPN article turns out to be a video. PGP.

I’ll take four Fireba–one vodka soda, splash of cran please. PGP.