Leaving your work laptop on your dining room table, but hiding your personal one, that way if somebody breaks in you have a decoy laptop. PGP.

That blissful couple of hours on payday when you have 4 digits in your checking account, before all the bills and rent come out. PGP.

Bought a desk. Couldn’t afford the chair. PGP.

Just got a raise. After taxes I am now bringing home an extra $17 every two weeks. PGP.

The only text I received today was from Papa John’s. PGP.

Almost got hit by a car walking to work today. Wish I had. PGP.

Actually telling the truth when your doctor asks how many drinks you average per week. PGP.

No one says, “Good morning!” anymore. Just, “Morning.” PGP.

Happy hour planning at 9am. PGP.

Two years ago I was an eager college senior who couldn’t wait to graduate and take the world by storm. Today, I wish I could travel through time and punch that eager moron in the face. PGP.