Allocating your tax return into weekly dividends of slightly better liquor throughout the next year.

Smoked a drunk cigarette over the weekend, still have a lingering cough #PGP

My work just blocked TFM. PGP

My boss has one of those clocks that plays bird noises on the hour. PGP.

Every time I fake interest in a useless meeting a little part of me dies

My condoms expired.

Having to learn from Forbes Magazine that my undergraduate degree is useless. PGP.

If another co-worker says “Hump Day” one more time, I’m just gonna lose it

Getting overly excited for the weekly grocery store ads. PGP.

Took Saturday night off from going out. Woke up feeling good Sunday so I raged.