living the PGL of a accountant in the fast paced world of the Houston reinsurance scene. Proponent of the 4 day work week and day drinking during lunch breaks at the local Chili's. Weekdays you can find me living the cube life and gettin my sweet fluorescent light tan on and on the weekend you can catch me at the beach or at a local bar calling everyone hipsters who order Moscow mules.
Likes: beer, jeeps, scotch, emotionally unavailable women.
Dislikes:
Will deFries
pffft bullshit also look at where the test sample of bros are taken from. I’m all for getting a hottie genius on lockdown. i hope to someday live the dream of a stay at home dad while my wife slays making all them benjamins while i’m at home chillin with my kids in my home gym that is an exact replica of the one that mark walhberg has in his house, showing them proper lift form cause we’re not raisin any beta crossfit males or females in my house. If she can talk about tesseracts, fourth dimensional planes, and gets my schrodinger’s cat joke then them some points on my scoreboard. people will like you no matter how incredibly talented or smart you are as long as your not a huge asshole about it.
I really want to understand the whole “fluent in sarcasm” trend. who is credited with first stating this on their profile? when did this start? why advertise being a sarcastic asshole? You want to have a dry sense of humor? sure that’s a thing. A dark sense of humor? sure that’s a thing also. Hard to be ironic when your basic AF which in and of its self means you conform to just about anything.
Pro- She will always have some sort of snack in her purse. Anything from those bomb ass freeze dried frozen yogurt things to those sweet ass cheese stick dippers.
Con- She could be one of those super health mom who only rolls with chia seeds and celery.
No one likes HR. HR is that kid who reminds the teacher on a Friday before a 3 day weekend about assigning homework. HR is the speed trap set up in early morning traffic. HR is like that one friend of the group of girls who cock blocks you from talking to her friend by pulling her away and saying she has to go “dance”. HR is the ever encroaching specter that is the imminent Orwellian future full of thought crime and thought police. Whenever i read a memo having to deal with “risk management” all i see is HR’s deception in its phrasing. Its really fun a management in that they want none to occur. I’m tired of their damn catered lunches in the down stairs conference room while i’m stuck heating up frozen chicken and uncle bens rice goddamnit! What training is so damn important that our stingy AF company actually approves your receipts through AP and we only get lunches when we’re fucked up quarter or year end?
Then you realize the treadmill is increasing more and more in both incline and speed as you age and die inside day after day while witnessing the fetid decay of your aspirations and hopes for not only yourself but the world. you were going to make a difference, you were going to change someones life for the better but here you are having become cold and dispondent to the happenings of the world outside of your small universe that you call a home in your gated community and youre staring at your Blackrock asset management report via the newest iteration of whatever bullshit touch sensitive tech device that isnt exploding in peoples hands. You have the news on in the background as reports about civilian bombings, active shooters, and irreversible and certain climate change that will bring about famine, disease, and new wars over basic necessities like water or not having your house below the ocean. All of that just goes in one ear and out the other as your portfolio has significant growth and that short position on that major american manufacturing company has paid off as their expected earnings fall incredibly short of even the most conservative financial speculator. This causing major layoffs as families that have been working class for 3 generations have no other means to support themselves because they lived the american dream, even if it was paycheck to paycheck, then domestic violence spikes along side suicide rates. But you pay no mind to any of that and decide to put in an infinity pool in your new sun room because its too cold to swim in your outdoor.
One day you go in for your yearly company mandated check up and your diagnosed with stage 3 colon cancer and now after dodging the frantic calls from your trophy wife probably to complain about the nanny you hired at 12 bucks and hour to watch your asshole kids or better yet she finally found out you were having an affair with her. You hit the ignore button again and finish your 5th double of whiskey while all your money you have stashed away cant help you increase the dismal survival rate. You down one more and stumble to your Merc AMG G Wagon and start to driving intoxicated only to get into a collision with a SUV with a family that was moving because the father, who worked at the manufacturing company you shorted, finally found a job in the neighboring state. You survive the head on collision like most drunk driving assholes do, but unfortunately the two parents are killed and the children are sent to foster care to eventually be chewed up and spit out by the system. But your cracker jack lawyer got your sentence reduced to a few years at a white collar crimes prison because of your medical condition cause you know the world is always fair.
under salted eggs? the level of breakfast you get from me the following morning is all performance based. scale from “i think there’s some special K in the cupboard” to “hey you like french toast?”
I’d lay down on a subway track last minute to ensure my quick death and release from her. Even TheRealJesus didn’t suffer this much. Or he kills her and we have a new Netflix original murder series about Todd.
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pffft bullshit also look at where the test sample of bros are taken from. I’m all for getting a hottie genius on lockdown. i hope to someday live the dream of a stay at home dad while my wife slays making all them benjamins while i’m at home chillin with my kids in my home gym that is an exact replica of the one that mark walhberg has in his house, showing them proper lift form cause we’re not raisin any beta crossfit males or females in my house. If she can talk about tesseracts, fourth dimensional planes, and gets my schrodinger’s cat joke then them some points on my scoreboard. people will like you no matter how incredibly talented or smart you are as long as your not a huge asshole about it.
I really want to understand the whole “fluent in sarcasm” trend. who is credited with first stating this on their profile? when did this start? why advertise being a sarcastic asshole? You want to have a dry sense of humor? sure that’s a thing. A dark sense of humor? sure that’s a thing also. Hard to be ironic when your basic AF which in and of its self means you conform to just about anything.
Pro- She will always have some sort of snack in her purse. Anything from those bomb ass freeze dried frozen yogurt things to those sweet ass cheese stick dippers.
Con- She could be one of those super health mom who only rolls with chia seeds and celery.
good on spotting that….almost as if your all seeing huh?
sorry HR is my trigger
No one likes HR. HR is that kid who reminds the teacher on a Friday before a 3 day weekend about assigning homework. HR is the speed trap set up in early morning traffic. HR is like that one friend of the group of girls who cock blocks you from talking to her friend by pulling her away and saying she has to go “dance”. HR is the ever encroaching specter that is the imminent Orwellian future full of thought crime and thought police. Whenever i read a memo having to deal with “risk management” all i see is HR’s deception in its phrasing. Its really fun a management in that they want none to occur. I’m tired of their damn catered lunches in the down stairs conference room while i’m stuck heating up frozen chicken and uncle bens rice goddamnit! What training is so damn important that our stingy AF company actually approves your receipts through AP and we only get lunches when we’re fucked up quarter or year end?
when do you take a sick day? take a sick day everyday until you was fired.
Then you realize the treadmill is increasing more and more in both incline and speed as you age and die inside day after day while witnessing the fetid decay of your aspirations and hopes for not only yourself but the world. you were going to make a difference, you were going to change someones life for the better but here you are having become cold and dispondent to the happenings of the world outside of your small universe that you call a home in your gated community and youre staring at your Blackrock asset management report via the newest iteration of whatever bullshit touch sensitive tech device that isnt exploding in peoples hands. You have the news on in the background as reports about civilian bombings, active shooters, and irreversible and certain climate change that will bring about famine, disease, and new wars over basic necessities like water or not having your house below the ocean. All of that just goes in one ear and out the other as your portfolio has significant growth and that short position on that major american manufacturing company has paid off as their expected earnings fall incredibly short of even the most conservative financial speculator. This causing major layoffs as families that have been working class for 3 generations have no other means to support themselves because they lived the american dream, even if it was paycheck to paycheck, then domestic violence spikes along side suicide rates. But you pay no mind to any of that and decide to put in an infinity pool in your new sun room because its too cold to swim in your outdoor.
One day you go in for your yearly company mandated check up and your diagnosed with stage 3 colon cancer and now after dodging the frantic calls from your trophy wife probably to complain about the nanny you hired at 12 bucks and hour to watch your asshole kids or better yet she finally found out you were having an affair with her. You hit the ignore button again and finish your 5th double of whiskey while all your money you have stashed away cant help you increase the dismal survival rate. You down one more and stumble to your Merc AMG G Wagon and start to driving intoxicated only to get into a collision with a SUV with a family that was moving because the father, who worked at the manufacturing company you shorted, finally found a job in the neighboring state. You survive the head on collision like most drunk driving assholes do, but unfortunately the two parents are killed and the children are sent to foster care to eventually be chewed up and spit out by the system. But your cracker jack lawyer got your sentence reduced to a few years at a white collar crimes prison because of your medical condition cause you know the world is always fair.
I’d be down to manage your assets, sup?
I’d treat you like Land and i’d never depreciate ya
Damn everyone lives in Houston. #PGPMixer
under salted eggs? the level of breakfast you get from me the following morning is all performance based. scale from “i think there’s some special K in the cupboard” to “hey you like french toast?”
They need to make Nived a regular writer
but your state has an income tax so thats another return i have to not do.
So Naughty by Nature was talking about Gucci when they asked if people were down with O.P.P.?
If you were a true connoisseur of drunken mac n cheese then you know tossing in some cut up hot dogs would make that shizz even better.
reminds me of the Hayes Carll song called She Left Me for Jesus
Yeah but you’re a carpenter you could build your own house and cut out the middle man. If you needed to i bet your dad could help you out too.
I’d lay down on a subway track last minute to ensure my quick death and release from her. Even TheRealJesus didn’t suffer this much. Or he kills her and we have a new Netflix original murder series about Todd.
Nah i’m a fellow man child like JD but better. Though Maui is a total babe and i mean that with no disrespect toward JD.
that’s his 2nd biggest mistake i believe his largest is openly admitting on PGP that he hates dogs.