Things Girls Do After Graduation: Order Dessert

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Things Girls Do After Graduation: Order Dessert

The candle adorning the middle of the table flickered while their conversation weaved between the seriousness of her ending her funemployment and some red wine-fueled banter about which one of their friends would get engaged next. They had differing opinions on the matter, but neither fully divulged their true thoughts considering she thought it would be her and Todd thought it would be her ex-boyfriend, Trip. As the conversation continued, it became clearer and clearer how the other felt but neither felt like making a scene.

“Can I get you anything else?” their waiter asked after softly approaching. “Another glass of wine? A nightcap? The dessert menu?”

Immediately upon him finishing the words “dessert” and “menu,” her eyes transitioned from looking up to the waiter and were suddenly transfixed on Todd who had a look on his face that said, “This clearly isn’t up to me.”

With her forehead down and a bit lip, she gazed at Todd before asking, “Would it be so bad of me to want dessert?”

“Whatever you want, babe,” Todd replied while already adding up the dinner’s total in his head.

Turning her attention back to the waiter, she told him, “I thiiiiiink we’re going to take a dessert menu.”

At this point, Todd had calculated the total to have already eclipsed 125 dollars, so adding a dessert to their tab actually seemed like a cheaper and more reasonable option than ordering another round of drinks. “Look at you,” he told her while she checked her phone. “It’s not like you to order dessert.”

Setting her phone back in her clutch that rested on her lap next to her napkin, she replied, “Ugh, I know, this is so bad of me,” before commenting on how she had seen a brownie brought to a table nearby that looked “delish.”

Shortly thereafter, the waiter returned with a menu that listed five items: the aforementioned brownie, Bananas Foster, seasonal berries, crème brûlée, and peach cobbler. He placed it on the edge of the table for them both to peruse only for it to find its way into her clutches.

“I don’t think we should get anything,” she began despite actually wanting something and simply looking for a second opinion and some affirmation that dessert was actually a good idea. “Are you still hungry?”

Todd shrugged. Again, he knew that this wasn’t his decision and simply remarked, “Everything sounds so good – we could split.”

Her eyes again moved up and down the menu but remained fixated on the top menu item: the brownie. Turning to Todd for affirmation, she asked, “Like, how fat would you think I am if I order the brownie? Would it be weird to date a whale?”

Todd gave a fake chuckle wishing she’d make a decision as they were already overstaying the time of their reservation after showing up twenty minutes late in an Uber. He was torn by what to tell her – was she actually torn on whether or not to get something, or did she just want the extra nudge she needed in order to get what she wanted? He considered offering to split again but feared that she’d think he wanted to split purely to avoid her eating all of the calories.

When the waiter returned to their table, he asked simply, “Have we come to a decision here?”

Todd’s eyes immediately deferred to her and her lip again remained bitten with a look of indecision on her face. Slowly, she opened her mouth and asked, “How’s the brownie?”

“Delightful,” the waiter replied, “It’s our most popular dessert and would be perfect for two.”

“Perfect,” she said after another slight moment of deliberation, “I think we’ll take that.”

As the waiter took the dessert menu out of her hands and headed to the kitchen, she leaned forward with her elbows on the table and whispered to Todd, “Are you going to think I’m such a cow if I eat the whole thing?”

Todd laughed, and despite being unsure of how to respond simply told her, “I’ll finish whatever you can’t.” Todd’s biggest fear was that the brownie would come to the table and she’d only take one bite, thus spending 12 dollars on something that presumably came out of a box. He told her, yet again, that she was not “fat” for ordering a brownie.

But as they could see the waiter approaching the table with the plate in hand, she looked to Todd and said, “Ugh, I don’t even want this anymore. I’m going to be huge when we go to Cabo for Caroline’s bachelorette in two weeks.”

Image via Shutterstock

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Will deFries (Twitter / Instagram) is a Senior Editor at Grandex and the world's foremost authority on Sunday Scaries (Twitter / Instagram).

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