Getting upset if you poop before you get to work. PGP.

People in my office only seem to need something from me when I’m trying to eat my lunch. PGP.

Please don’t hold the elevator. I’d rather wait than say “good morning.” PGP.

Job hunting and apartment hunting at the same time. PGP.

Cousin Eddie being unemployed for seven years because he’s holding out for a management position. PGP.

Each day I relate more and more to Phil Dunphy. PGP.

Christmas party? Nope. Christmas Bonus? Nope. We don’t even get a Jelly of the Month club membership here. PGP.

Struck up a flirtationship with the hottest girl in my office. Found out she’s banging my boss. PGP.

I just changed my Netflix password and got angry texts from three of my exes. HBO Go is next. PGPM.