Telling the incredibly censored version of what you did over the 4th of July weekend.

No cell service in the bathroom. PGP.

Monday Me : “Fuuuck drinking.”Friday Me: “Let’s rage.” PGP.

Your inspirational LinkedIn quote is stupid. PGP.

Had a brief convo with the new guy today…. once he said he is 24 and married I walked away.

Being told, “We must be on the same schedule.” when you see the same old guy in the bathroom on back-to-back trips. PGP.

Taking fake poops

Been texting back an forth with three women at once today: My mom, my sister, and my boss. PGP