Grotesquely over exaggerating your job title to the waitress at The United Airlines Club when she asks what you do for a living. PGP

I can’t get a job, because I don’t have experience, because I can’t get a job. PGP.

I actually get a high from having a clean desktop and inbox.

I’m an incredible interviewer but an awful employee #PGP

Pretending to like these people is getting exhausting. PGP.

“at least it was good interview practice”. PGP.

Talking about corporate the way I used to talk about Nationals in college. PGP.

I’m 100% positive the guy begging for change by my office has a higher net worth than me. PGP.

Can’t tell if I hate my life or just my job. PGP.

Black coffee. Black pants. Black laptop. Black pen. Black soul. PGP.