Being more invested in the lives of “This Is Us” characters than my own personal life. PGP.

Made my lunch. Left it at home. PGP.

**Beep Beep** “Hello! Who was that that just joined?” PGP.

1: “Did you see my email?”2: “Yeah… Looking at it right now…” PGP

My life goal is to be so successful that it hurts my ex girlfriends feelings. PGP

You make a drunken scene at one family wedding, and no one lets you live it down. PGP

I’ve had the dad bod before dad bods were cool. PGP

Another human being made more than my yearly salary in half a second. #PGP

Fell asleep before my team could make its draft pick. PGP