Last Cinco de Mayo, I ripped Tecate bongs and tequila haircuts. Yesterday, I fell asleep on the couch halfway through an episode of “Louie.” PGP.

Accidentally swiped left on the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. PGP.

A summer consisting of emails, phone calls and spreadsheets instead of beer, babes and beaches. PGP.

John Taffer couldn’t rescue my department. PGP.

May 5th used to be about tequila and day drinking. Now it just means four more days till Friday. PGP.

Want to date, but too tired to ever go out and find someone. PGP.

The office 10 is an everywhere else 6. PGP.

“One-upping” is now about who had the most shit to deal with at work that week. PGP.

I don’t know if I’m terrible at budgeting or if I’m just not making enough money. PGP.

At this point, I’d rather have Lloyd’s job under Ari Gold. PGP.