I went first in white elephant. PGP.

“Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, kiss my ass, kiss his ass, kiss your ass, Happy Hanukkah.” PGP.

“Oh good, you’re still here.” PGP.

White elephant gift exchange anxiety. PGP.

“How’s work?” is my go-to pickup line. PGP.

My bank account sits at -$13.47. I am worth negative one medium, no topping pizza. PGP.

There’s more liquor in my desk than my apartment. PGP.

Everyone in my company uses stand up desks. PGP.

Never making it past a first date. PGP.

The follow-up to the follow-up. PGP