“Resting my eyes” at a stoplight. PGP.

Too poor too buy my own lunch. Too fat to eat the pizza my boss bought. PGP.

Trying to get into your car with your access badge after work. PGP.

Homecoming was a success. Managed to stay out one night ’til 3 A.M. PGP.

Using Tinder as my main source of social interaction. PGP.

Don’t even know why I own sunglasses. The only time I escape the four walls of this hell hole is when it’s dark. PGP.

Having the worst Excel game in the office. PGP.

“Thank you for your patience.” PGP.

My 29 year-old coworker just called me “Punkin'”. PGP.

Your boss calling to tell you he has out of office meetings all day, then seeing Facebook pictures of him at a golf tournament. PGP.