Coworker signed an email with “Have a productive day!” and I just wanted to respond “Go fuck yourself!” PGP.

I’m going to cut the next person that says, “Welcome to the real world!” PGP.

“Late night, come home. Work sucks, I know.” PGP.

How the hell did I ever stay up past 9:30? PGP.

The walk of shame now being the distance from the restroom to your cubicle after being in there for an absurd amount of time. PGP.

“Your monthly bill is now available to view.” PGP.

Big middle finger to whoever just heated up fish in the kitchen microwave. PGP.

Sometimes I just sit in my car and scream. PGP.

For Lent, I’m giving up. Like in general, just giving up. PGP.

Losing weight from the “too busy to eat” diet. PGP.