So, big plans this weekend? PGP.

Employer just implemented random drug testing. PGP.

I took a day off to play Pokemon. PGP.

Entire Company has a half day, boss says need someone to “hold down the fort” until 4 p.m. while staring directly at you. PGP.

The classic hungover, burp, throw-up in the office bathroom’s sink. Fuck. PGP.

Wife has threatened to fly home if I don’t stop answering emails on vacation. PGP.

I tell people I can’t remember names because of concussions from football, but it’s really because I don’t care what their name is. PGP.

Latest Google search: “Can you overdose on melatonin?” PGP.