Corporate shut down my office and gave me severance. I should be looking for a job, but I’m looking forward to an all-expenses-paid summer. PGP.

I slept for 16 hours on Sunday, woke up at 4pm, and was still able to fall back asleep at 9pm. PGP.

Weddings have become the replacement for frat parties, but with more parental supervision. PGP.

There have already been several emails warning us about the consequences of taking a long lunch break for the Germany-United States game. PGP.

Getting a new chair being the most exciting thing to happen at work in a while. PGP.

Coming to the haunting conclusion that two years of experience and a Finance degree still isn’t enough for employers. PGP.

Just flirted with a sorority girl for two minutes and thought, “I still got it.” PGP.

Gave my little brother a sympathy card for his college graduation. PGP.

I keep re-watching “Office Space” in hopes of getting hypnotized. PGP.

Saving your college ID for its discounts until you land a big boy job. PGP.