I swear this is my last time downloading Tinder. PGP.

I would put pine tar on my neck if it got get me kicked out of work for the day. PGP.

Really thought I’d be making more money at this age. PGP.

Sometimes I wake up in the morning, look at myself in the mirror and say, “As little as possible.” PGP.

Praying that the office fire drill isn’t just a drill. PGP.

Signing the “get well” card for a coworker you’ve never met. PGP.