Already planning for the raise I won’t be getting. PGP.

The local strip club just followed me on Twitter. PGP.

Working in your hometown. PGP.

Meeting with my boss. Apply for new jobs. End up in the same office the next morning. Repeat. PGP.

I want to get a German Shepherd but they’re too smart and I know it would end up just calling me on my shit. PGP.

“This is just a stepping stone.” PGP.

Wore a white long sleeve shirt and fleece vest to work and now my coworker won’t stop calling me Han Solo and asking me why I shot first. PGP.

I’m getting dangerously comfortable with telling people no on the basis that I can’t afford it. PGP.

The first thing that pops up when you type my name in on Google is my freshman year drunk in public charge. PGP.

My mom gets more likes on Instagram than me. PGP.