The anxiety that hits when you enter a coworker’s office and they say “Close the door.” PGP.

Preparing a lie ahead of time for when coworkers ask about weekend plans

“Nobody knows what I do, it’s good for mystique.” PGP.

Watching HGTV and drinking scotch. PGP.

Crap, what’s on my snapchat story? PGP.

The “keep messenger from saying I’m ‘Away'” mouse jiggle at the end of the day. PGP.

IT blocked ESPN. PGP.

With the interns going back to school, I’m back to being the youngest in the office. PGP.

I’m at least 20 years younger than everyone in my office. PGP.

I sound so much nicer in my office voicemail than I actually am in real life. PGP.