“I know you’re taking vacation today, but we need you to call in for this meeting?” PGP.

My mom decided to postpone our mother/daughter trip next weekend because something exciting came up and she’d rather go to that. Love you too mom. PGP.

Almost died from choking on French Fries last night. PGP.

I flew back from California. My luggage flew to Poland. PGP.

Waking up late and getting to work on time means I just found my new wake up time. PGP.

My closet office wife and I broke up, and people have started asking us, “Why aren’t you hanging out with/talking to each other anymore?” PGP.

“Did you ever leave last night?” PGP.

My floor’s bathroom stalls do not get reception. PGP.